By Dr. Sally Witt, В©2008 Center for Healing and Training, Inc.
There are many ways to move a man along the path to love.В I am going to assume that you have already gotten past the flirty look period, the sexual attraction period, and the casual dating period.В Now that YOU know that you want HIM, how do you get him to fall in love with you?
1.Listen to Him with your Whole Body, Mind, and Soul
Everyone loves to get attention.В Sometimes we forget to really listen because we are so caught up in our careers, our lives, and our stress.В If you can get him to talk about anything вЂ“ really listen.В If you are fortunate enough to get into a conversation about your feelings, then you really need to let your whole being convey that you are listening.В Give him positive feedback that is comfortable.В DonвЂ™t scare him by acting totally like a different person вЂ“ practice these techniques with a few girlfriends so that they feel natural.
- Use listening body language.В Sit forward a bit and keep your chest in an open posture вЂ“ donвЂ™t cross your arms.В DonвЂ™t fidget.В Look right into his eyes, and give him a warm smile.
- Use active listening skills вЂ“ occasionally repeat what he says so that he knows that you understand him.В Ex:В He tells you about his day.В You tell him that you can really see that it was a busy day because of the meeting and the two phone conferences.
- Use mirroring techniques вЂ“ sit in a similar way so that you are holding your chin with your left hand if he is sitting across from you holding his chin with his right hand.В It feels contrived when you first try it, but it is amazing
how people really feel that you are paying attention to them when you gently imitate their body language.
2. Nurture him to feel secure and loved
Everyone needs to feel good about themselves, and men sometimes have no one else to turn to show their real feelings of insecurity and helplessness.В My friend Melanie feels that nurturing is the most important point.В If you can get to the point that they trust you with these feelings, that is a major step to love and trust.В When he can put his defenses down and feel better about himself, that is the most that you can ask for.В DonвЂ™t abuse that privilege, or you may never see that side of him again.В We tend to have more relationships where we can let our guard down.
Do not criticize or judge him.В Remember that he probably has a fragile ego.В I always try to avoid expressing myself at the height of my anger вЂ“ you can never really take it back.В My friend TinaMarie has a rule with her husband, no yelling or screaming.В It works really well for them.
3. Live in the Real World, Not the Movies
Remember, we are not all going to look like Janet Jackson or Keanau Reeves.В Even more importantly, love just doesnвЂ™t work like that вЂ“ you know what I mean.В Lust is not love.В Love is body, emotions, and soul.В When couples are in love it is a spiritual bond as well.В You want someone mature enough to be in love, not just looking for a few days of the hormone kick with a new lover.
4. Common Ground
You must have some things in common.В You want to build a life together, not just a love nest.В If you donвЂ™t have much more in common right now than mutual attraction вЂ“ start some new hobbies together, or learn to like some that your partner already has.В You have to grow together over time.В Love grows every day, not just in one spurt.В Some couple have their spirituality in common, and that can be beautiful.В Whether it is sports, pets, travel, or church вЂ“ find a way that you can grow together and develop a multi-dimensional relationship.
5. Sexual and Intimate Chemistry
Some of the most important things that you can do to enhance your chemistry is to generate the feelings for your man that you are interested in him, he is safe, and he is loved.В Some additional tips to bring that close intimate feeling right into the moment:
- Time your breathing with his.В As long as there is nothing unusual about his breathing (asthma, a cold, etc.) breathing together brings a couple very close very quickly.В You should do it in a way that he doesnвЂ™t realize that you are working on it.В As long as you feel comfortable (again, you might want to practice with someone else), he wonвЂ™t notice what you are doing вЂ“ but will be affected by it.
- Be subtle, and sensuous.В If you are trying to develop a long lasting love relationship вЂ“ try to take the classy road.В Even if he likes to play games and get nasty, that doesnвЂ™t mean that he wants to settle down and have a long-term relationship with a playmate.В Try to tease him just enough to make him want some more, and to not be bored.
- Talk a little dirty.В My friend Tammy found this to work really well.В So many men love to hear sexy talk on the phone, or in the bedroom.В Again, donвЂ™t overdo it.В Let his imagination work him up.В Maybe something like, вЂњI canвЂ™t wait until after dinner tonight.В I am going to show you how much I appreciate you.вЂќ
Finally, when you are both in love it is still work to have a good healthy relationship.В If you care for each other, and treat each other with honor and respect, then you will have a relationship worth keeping.В It is truly better to stay single than to be in the wrong relationship.В When there is someone to love, and they love you for who you are, it is wonderful.В Best of Luck to you.
Dr. Sally Witt is a Breakthrough Coach and Hypnotherapist.В She has a Ph.D. in Spiritual Counseling, and has a unique background in traditional psychology as well as intense alternative and metaphysical training.В She not only provides individuals and families with coaching and individual therapeutic sessions, but she provides support groups, corporate consulting, trainings and demonstrations on a wide variety of topics.
Dr. Witt is also known worldwide for her intuitive and energy healing gifts.В She has been a frequent guest on national television and radio programs to talk about her work.В She is the author of вЂњYour Mind Holds the Key to Health, Happiness, and ProsperityвЂќ, available on Amazon.com.В You can contact her at the Center for Healing and Training, Inc. at 215/736-0900.В Her website is www.drsallywitt.com.В Skype=drsallywitt