By Dr. Taffy Wagner
I read this article earlier last week that shared how affluent parents demand prenups for their engaged children. I must admit as a personal finances educator and wife of thirteen years this article was screaming at me. It was saying, вЂњSince I have already decided I am not going to stay with you, why donвЂ™t you confirm it to me and sign on the dotted line so I know what I am getting.вЂќ
I ask you what happened to вЂњfor richer or for poorerвЂќ? Newsflash вЂ“ LOVE is a CHOICE, it is not an emotion. If you are marrying because of an emotion, you are already headed for trouble. When you choose to love someone it is not based on conditions. Make sure that your relationship is based on the right foundation.
This story had me so concerned that I posted a brief overview about it and asked some of my friends what they thought. Here is what was said:В вЂњI think that is really said, family is the core of our societyвЂќ, вЂњRidiculous is what I say, I would find someone poor to marryвЂќ, вЂњPlease tell me youвЂ™re kidding, will the helicopter parents ever land.вЂќ
It is always interesting to see what money can do to people. Clearly, the affluent are thinking about it belongs to me and I am not sharing regardless if a ring is on that finger.
Sounds to me as if these parents are вЂњtoo involvedвЂќ in their childrenвЂ™s relationship and will be overbearing throughout the marriage. I want the spouses to talk to one another about their finances in the engaged state. When an engaged couple are preparing to walk down that aisle, they already have stress of planning for a wedding. They should not have to even think for one second about their parents dictating their life.
Love is a choice and says it does not matter if you are rich or poor, happy or sad, in sickness and in health вЂ“ I LOVE YOU no matter what. I have to wonder if in some of these relationships if the tables were turned on the affluent parent and the spouse who did not have as much income all of a sudden made three times more than their son or daughter, how they would feel considering they demanded a PRE-NUP. Be careful what you ask for.
Copyright 2008, Dr. Taffy Wagner is the Creator of Money Talk Before The Commitment Walk and Debt Stops At The Altar financial education program.