I called my friend in California one day to see how she was doing. During the conversation, she asked my opinion of the direction she was going with her life. She said she was up for a new management position, but neither she, nor some of her friends, thought she was ready for it. She was bored, because she was not in a relationship, and had no one to occupy her time. She really wanted to “find a man,” but in her spare time had started reading philosophical books.
As she continued, I listened intently. Eventually, she asked, “What do you think? Should I take the position or not?”
I asked, “Are you sure you want to hear my HONEST response to your question?”
“Yes!” she replied.
So I responded with three questions that would help her reflect on her own situation:
1. What do you really want to do with your life?
2. When was the last time you truly answered question 1 for yourself?
3. When was the last time you dreamed about your future?
“Because you are not involved with anyone,” I continued, “I would spend this time doing some real soul searching.”
I gave her the name of some good self-help books and suggested she spend her free time “GETTING TO KNOW HERSELF”, instead of looking for a MAN.
You’ve got to get to know yourself first, set your goals, and live your dreams. Otherwise, when you meet someone, you will end up following that person and living his/her dreams instead of your own. Develop a relationship with yourself first; learn to love you.
Some people are so afraid of getting to know themselves that they live and define their lives through the dreams and goals of others. How can a person be truly happy living someone else’s dream? My suggestion is to take the time to know you and to know what you want, and then develop relationships with others.
Letting Go of Stuff is about getting to know your self. When I coach people who are having relationship challenges, I don’t suggest that they work things out with their partner or spouse, I begin initially with looking inside of that person. You see, we have to first develop a relationship with SELF before we develop a relationship with anyone else. Here is the kickerВ if you can’t get along with your self, then what makes you think you will get along with anyone else? Think about it.
Take the time to examine your life. What do you want to change, make better, and then let go of? Have the courage to face it, acknowledge it, then begin to make the changes.
You owe it to your self AND you deserve it.
Until next time!
Darren L. Johnson
Darren L Johnson is an expert on Letting Go of StuffВ® and is known as the Letting Go Pro. He has written and published numerous articles on letting go. In 1994 Darren created and began teaching Letting Go of StuffВ®.
During his twenty-five year career stint, Darren has worked with fortune 100 companies such as General Motors and Nissan, USA. As a speaker and consultant he combines personal experience, theory on change, and proven methods – all leading to success for his clients in the process of letting go of stuff.
In 2009 he founded the National Letting Go of Stuff Day and in 2007 founded a 501c3 NGO called the Global Business & Organization Development Foundation.