copyright 2008, Dr. Sally Witt, The Center for Healing & Training, Inc.
Maybe you know this already??В A great marriage is made up of communication, compromise, and tender loving care.
In August, my husband and I will celebrate our 25th Wedding Anniversary.В Ok, it has not been perfect every day, but it has been great overall.В We are tender, caring, and love each other every day.В We have only gone to bed angry one time, and we will never do it again.
When we met in 1983, I just knew that we were meant to be together, and wanted to commit to a relationship right away.В A year later, after we were married, I found that my love was growing all the time.В We were getting to know each other in deeper ways every day, week, month, and year.В We had a lot in common to begin with, but we developed new friendships and interests together that strengthened our bonds.
There are ups and downs, easy and hard things.В It turned out, that we had to endure more than 11 years of infertility treatments while we lived in 3 different states.В We had the heartbreak of losing the only pregnancy in the 4th month of twins.В The adoption process started and stopped a few times with disappointments as well.В We were tested and tried.
We went through the blessings and stresses of going into business with my parents, and had many highs and lows.В Sometimes I canвЂ™t believe how we weathered all the storms!
The bottom line is that when we look at each other, we feel a fresh and wonderful love every day.В There is nothing that we canвЂ™t discuss, there is nothing that we cannot deal with together.
Not everyone can have that with their first relationship.В We know a lot of people that are truly happy in their second or third marriage.В There is no judgement.В When it is right, it is amazing.В Bruce and I used to run the singles group at our church in Raleigh, North Carolina.В We kept encouraging the lonely single members that there is someone wonderful out there for them, but it is better to be alone that be with the wrong person!
If you want to be closer and more loving, try some of these tips for your relationship.
- Do something different, out of the ordinary for you.В Get out of the rut, and spend the time together having fun.В Have a date, like when you were single.
- Enjoy things together.В Have times that you do things apart if you do not have them in common вЂ“ like watching sports, or knitting, or other things that you would rather do with your friends.В В В Just balance that with your together times.
- Let yourself fall in love again with your spouse.В Look at them tenderly and think of the things that made you fall in love in the first place.В Just like you might do with your children, or a puppy!
- Think about what the other needs and wants, and help them to have it.
- Ask for what you need and want.В Experiment with speaking their вЂњlanguageвЂќ.
- If you need it, ask for help!В A counselor, a pastor, a friend.В There is someone who can help you with ideas and insight.
- Get enough sleep.В Especially if you have small children, or are working an extra job.В It is hard to be loving when you are sleep deprived.
- Take a walk together.В It is great to get exercise, and it is great to talk.В Healthy and happy habits reduce stress and promote closeness.
It is wonderful that you want to improve your marriage and your relationship.В When you make that a clear intention, you can make it happen!
Dr. Sally Witt is a Breakthrough Coach and Hypnotherapist. She has a Ph.D. in Spiritual Counseling, and has a unique background in traditional psychology as well as intense alternative and metaphysical training. She not only provides individuals and families with coaching and individual therapeutic sessions, but she provides support groups, corporate consulting, trainings and demonstrations on a wide variety of topics.
She has a number of products, training, and services.В Her new online package Stop Smoking in 21 Days or Less is now available!В http://www.stopsmokingwithdrsally.com.